Developing Positive Professional Relationships through the Foundation of Trust and the Bridge of Communication

Posted on February 21, 2012 by rvanderlin

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    With the stress of the Holidays fading away as you slip back into your “normal” life routines, it’s the perfect time to evaluate the kind of professional relationships you want to develop in the New Year. With many Americans spending an average of 50 hours a week in the office, professional relationships have become just as important and influential as personal relationships when it comes to your quality of life.  Keeping these relationships positive can lead to an increase in overall wellness and productivity that overflows from the “9 to 5” workplace into your everyday world.

    Keys to Developing Positive Professional Relationships

    Developing healthy relationships requires an investment of time, a willingness to work and a commitment to a positive outcome. There are several characteristic required for a relationship to be considered positive and healthy; but with my clients, I find that the most critical ones are trust and communication.

    The Foundation of Trust

    Whether you’re a CEO, team leader, supervisor or the employee in the neighboring cubicle, you have the power to foster an environment of trust. How? Don’t just talk the talk, but walk the walk. Be consistent in your actions, follow-through on commitments, listen and be responsive to those around you. When it comes to trust, actions speak louder than words; and once your actions are trustworthy, the words will follow.

    The Bridge of Communication

    Building a foundation of trust will inevitably lead to open communication as employees and employers feel a sense of security in expressing their thoughts and opinions.  As you continue to work closely with your colleagues, remember that honesty really is the best policy. Don’t like the way something is being done? Speak up! Need extra help on an upcoming deadline? Ask for it! Author George Bernard Shaw reminds us that “the single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” In other words, you can’t have open communication if your mouth stays closed.

    Positive professional relationships don’t just happen. They require active construction. If relationships in your workplace are strained, stop waiting for the contractor to arrive. Instead, grab your hard hat and begin laying a foundation of trust and building a bridge of communication that will support and sustain the positive relationships you’ve been looking for.

    Upcoming Presentations and Workshops

    Ready to take it offline? Then join us at one of our upcoming presentations and workshops throughout the Chicagoland area!

    The Talent Show: Why You and Your Company Can’t Afford to Lose

    Thursday, March 1, 2012

    8:00 am – 11:00 am

    Society of Human Resources Professionals, Chicago, IL

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      The “P” Word: Is Perseverance a Necessity for Success or a Recipe for Disaster ?

      Posted on January 31, 2012 by Success Trek

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        Is Perseverance a Necessity for Success or a Recipe for Disaster ?

        I was recently asked to speak about my top ten “must haves” in order to successfully grow a business within a difficult economy. And one quality I kept coming back to was perseverance. You always hear about it in those “real-life” success stories of people who make it to the top as a result of overcoming many obstacles in their lives. They persevered, never giving up, until they finally achieved success. Those stories are always inspiring. In fact, I’m still inspired today by my father and grandfather who kept their electrical wholesale company alive during the 1980s recession. They had to make all kinds of sacrifices. And the lesson I carried with me when I founded my own business during what is now being called “the Great Recession” is that they persevered and came out stronger than ever before.

        But just what is perseverance? How you answer this question can determine whether it ends in success, or leads you to failure.

        Perseverance is defined as “a steady persistence in a course of action, in spite of difficulties and obstacles.” That sounds inspirational, but it also sounds faintly like the definition of insanity – doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Here’s a concrete example a friend of mine gave me. She’s a piano teacher. When preparing her students for a recital, she told me that the one thing that drove her crazy were the kids who were making mistakes; not because they were making the mistakes, but because they persisted in practicing the song over and over and over again – mistakes and all. “Don’t they see that by doing that,” she complained to me, “they’re learning the mistakes, rather than learning from the mistakes?”

        Sound at all familiar? As a business consultant, I see this “stick-to-it-no-matter-what” quality in many business owners, as well as CEOs and managers. They have a plan and, come hell or high water, they are going to see it through. But unfortunately, they’re equating perseverance with inflexibility. And, as the great oak trees demonstrate in the middle of a storm, no matter how strong you are, if you are unable to bend (like the weaker pine tree can), you will eventually break.

        My father and grandfather didn’t pursue (as the definition mentioned above suggests) “a course of action in spite of difficulties and obstacles.” They pursued a particular course because of the obstacles and difficulties they faced. To put it another way, they persevered not because they were determined to “stay the course.” Rather, their perseverance came out of their ability to make course corrections along the way

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          Posted in Business Coaching, Business Decision Making, business difficulties, business obstacles, career coaching, management, Measuring success, preparedness, Success Trek | Tagged , , , , , , , | Comments Off

          Eeny, Meeny, Miney Moe: 5 Questions to Ask When Choosing an Accountability Partner

          Posted on January 24, 2012 by Success Trek

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            Five Questions to Ask When Choosing your Accountability Partner

            There are all kinds of management tools you can use to help you achieve your personal and professional goals. In my last blog, I wrote about the importance of having an effective accountability partner. One article in the National Federation of Independent Business refers to using it as “the buddy system.” That cracked me up because it brought back memories of elementary school field trips. Remember? Everyone had to have a “buddy” so they didn’t get lost. And then it dawned on me, that’s really what accountability partners do – they keep you from getting lost on your “field trip” toward success. As a third grader, you probably didn’t get to choose your buddy, but as an adult you have the power to select the best possible partner. To get this decision-making process started, you need to ask yourself 5 key questions that have to do with your own level of self-awareness:

            1)      Am I really ready?

            Before you can consider the qualities you’re seeking in a potential accountability partner, ask yourself – are you ready to commit to whatever it is he or she will be helping you achieve? I occasionally have individual coaching clients who say they want me to help them stay accountable, but then constantly reschedule appointments and miss phone calls. These individuals are what I call “seekers” rather than “trekkers.” They’re seeking accountability, but they’re not yet committed to taking the trek. An accountability partner does not make you commit to something; rather, he or she is there to help keep you accountable to the commitments you have already made.

            2)      What style of interaction will motivate me?

            In choosing an accountability partner, you have to know yourself well enough to know what kind of approach will be the most effective. When you are struggling to stay on course, do you want someone to kick you in the butt or hold your hand? Both approaches can be equally effective or ineffective. The outcome depends upon what kind of feedback gets you up and moving when you’re feeling stuck.

            3)      Do I want to give as well as receive?

            Picking up the phone to call your accountability partner can be much easier when you know that you are calling not only to report your own progress, but also to check on theirs. If helping others is a positive motivator for you as it is for me, than you may want to consider seeking an accountability partnership rather than just a partner.

            4)      Who am I most likely to trust?

            Trust is the foundation upon which every successful partnership is built. It goes without saying that you have to trust that your accountability partner will maintain confidentiality. But everyone has different criteria upon which to judge whether someone is trustworthy. What are yours? Is it the amount of time you’ve known that person? Is it consistency in their behavior? Is it the role they play in your life? Before you can choose an accountability partner you trust, you have to understand yourself well enough to know what makes you feel as though someone is trustworthy.

            5)      With whom will I be honest?

            This may seem like a strange question to ask. Of course you’ll be honest, no matter whom you choose as an accountability partner, right? Not necessarily. In an accountability partner, you want to find someone whose opinion matters to you. Not wanting to disappoint your partner can help motivate you to stay on task. But be careful not to choose someone whom you admire so much that you become more concerned about pleasing them than about being honest with them.

            Before choosing your accountability partner, choose to spend time with yourself. Asking these five questions will increase your self-awareness, which will equip you with the knowledge you need to make the right choice.

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              Achieving Personal and Professional Goals – Turning “Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda” into “Wanna, Gonna, Did;” Achieving Personal and Professional Success using Accountability Partners

              Posted on January 17, 2012 by rvanderlin

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                Achieving Personal and Professional Goals

                Turning “Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda” into “Wanna, Gonna, Did;” Achieving Personal and Professional Success using Accountability Partners

                Out of frustration, my friend Deb forwarded a message to me yesterday that she received from her brother. It was a retrospective of not only this past year (which, let’s face it, many of us are doing right now), but also of his entire professional life. He listed several individuals who, in his mind, had achieved more impressive personal and professional goals than he. They attended a prestigious university, achieved a prominent position at a younger age and received a higher salary then he ever did or would. The list went on and on with great detail, including their bios! He finished his email with, “Oh well, I guess I’m just stuck in “shoulda, woulda, coulda.”

                Deb forwarded this to me because she knows that so much of the work I do with individuals and organizations is about helping them learn how to move from “shoulda, woulda, coulda” to “wanna, gonna, and did!” Of course, up-front planning is critical for achieving any kind of goal. There are many steps and tools involved in that process, such as identifying the problem, strategic planning and outlining next steps. But more often than not, these steps alone only get you so far, taking you from “shoulda, woulda, coulda” to “wanna, gonna,” but never getting you to “did.” Why? Well, according to a poll conducted by Mirren’s Business Development, the number one reason that plans fail is a lack of discipline and follow-through. The second reason is a lack of team commitment. What do both those reasons have in common? The need for accountability.

                Finding an accountability partner is critical to achieving personal and professional goals.

                An accountability partner can be defined in many ways. For some of my clients, it means having someone to call once a week to review their progress. For others, it means monthly meetings to evaluate what’s working, what’s not and make course corrections accordingly. Whatever the relationship looks like, an accountability partner is someone who is there to keep you moving on your individual trek toward success. He or she will keep you firmly in the present and working toward the future, rather than stuck looking at the past.

                In my next blog, I’ll talk about the 5 questions you need to ask in order to find the right accountability partner for you. In the meantime, remember the example of Deb’s brother. The time and energy he put into researching the accomplishments of those other folks could have been spent making forward progress on his own trek toward success. You can’t drive forward while looking into the rear view mirror. An accountability partner will make sure that your eyes stay firmly planted on the road ahead.

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                  New Years Resolutions:Turning Problem-Focused Resolutions into Strengths-Based Re-solutions

                  Posted on January 3, 2012 by Success Trek

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                    Success in the New Year: Turn Problem-Focused Resolutions into Strengths-Based Re-solutions

                    New Year Success

                    Success Trek offers New Years Re-Solutions

                    Here comes the New Year! And with it comes pressure to set new goals which usually involve making promises to yourself and to those around you. Professionally, New Year’s Resolutions tend to center around improving those things that went wrong the year before – poor time management, ineffective organizational skills, lack of follow-through or lagging sales numbers. You are heading into 2012 “resolved” to fix things. But did you know that 88% of all New Year’s resolutions end in failure? It seems to me that our tradition of making New Year’s Resolutions is really what needs to be fixed! How? Rather than making New Year’s Resolutions, make New Year’s Re-solutions. Turning Resolutions into Re-solutions shifts the focus from fixing your problems and weaknesses to building upon your opportunities and strengths.

                    Problem-Focused vs. Strengths-Based Change

                    Resolutions and Re-solutions have the same goal – making positive change in your career and your life. But from an early age, we have been taught that change comes from problem-focused evaluation. Think about it – when you brought home your report card, did your parents focus on what you did to get that A, or what you needed to do to avoid getting those D’s?

                    Now, I’m not advocating that you only focus on what you did well in 2011 and forget the rest. When evaluating the past year, particularly during fourth-quarter planning, you have to know what went wrong so you don’t make the same mistakes twice. But, as you head into a New Year, it is also critical to spend as much if not more time evaluating what went right so you do make the same successes twice.

                    Peter Drucker, long-time advocate of strengths-based management, suggests in The Effective Executive that “It is more productive to convert strengths into results than to solve a problem.” Resolutions are problem-focused; Re-solutions are strengths-based.

                    Tips for Making a New Year’s Re-solution

                    Let’s use time management as an example:

                    1) Break down the category “time management” into manageable pieces or stages such as:

                    • Designate one time per day for particular activities (for example, checking email)
                    • Prioritize a list of activities
                    • Allocate time
                    • Discipline yourself to follow-through

                    2) Within these categories, write a list of the things you are already doing right – detailing what they are and the outcome they created

                    • For example: “This past year I developed prioritized lists of activities (stage #2) and established deadlines according to long-term organizational goals. I effectively communicated those deadlines to my team, enabling us to follow-through (stage #2) with our projects which increased customer satisfaction.

                    Doing this exercise helps you understand that you aren’t “bad” at time management. In fact, you actually manage some stages quite effectively. Once you know your strengths , you can learn from, delegate  tasks or create accountability partners with others whose strength areas compliment yours.

                    So this year, rather than making a New Year’s Resolution to fix your problem areas from 2011, make a New Year’s Re-solution by bringing those tools, methods and strategies that worked so well in 2011 to solve the challenges that inevitably await you in 2012.

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                      Multi-Tasking, Messages and Mayhem in the Fourth Quarter

                      Posted on December 20, 2011 by Success Trek

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                        Multi-Tasking Messages and Mayhem in the Fourth Quarter

                        Stop the Mayhem! Holiday Stress Multi-Tasking Message

                        Fourth Quarter Mayhem - Holiday Multi Tasking Messages

                        Writing a blog about “holiday stress” is nothing new. In fact, go ahead and Google it. My guess is you’ll get about 104,000,000 hits (ok, it’s not a guess…I did it this morning). But it’s not just the holidays bearing down on us right now; we’re also scrambling to wrap up the fourth quarter. As one friend described it, “This time of year is like sitting down at a diner and ordering stress with a side of stress!” In response, we increase our multi-tasking – sending email messages while jotting down gift lists for example – which makes us feel like we’re managing effectively when we’re really creating more mayhem.

                        During these past two weeks I have seen my colleagues and clients experience just how damaging this time of year can be personally and professionally. Next week I’ll share some stories about the personal challenges of this season. But today, I want to focus on the most important mistake to avoid when in the midst of what I like to call:

                        The Fourth Quarter Frenzy

                        The fourth quarter is a time of transition for businesses, and all transitions, whether positive or negative, are stressful. CEO’s and management teams are caught in that limbo between what was (the previous 9 months) and what will be (the New Year). Ideally, it should be a time of reflection in order to review what worked, what didn’t and then adjust strategic plans accordingly. But realistically, it is often the time when employees are run ragged trying to hit lagging sales goals, launch last-minute projects to spend remaining budgets (so they don’t get cut the following year), and manage day-to-day responsibilities with half the staff on vacation.

                        The Most Important Mistake to Avoid: Multi-Tasking

                        In the midst of this frenzy, the default coping strategy is to rely upon your ability to multi-task, even more than you already do. But, the fantasy that multi-tasking helps you get more done is just that – a fantasy. We squashed that multi-tasking myth back in March. Studies have shown that when people rely upon multi-tasking, projects take 20% longer and errors go up by 30%.

                        Need an example? I have two from this week alone. A colleague of mine thought she was successfully balancing four last-minute projects at work. Then, last Friday she sent me three separate emails that were meant to go to other people. Three! Fortunately no harm was done.

                        But another colleague of mine was not so lucky. As the commercial “Reply All” so aptly depicts, sending a confidential email to the wrong person (or people) is every professional’s worst nightmare. I won’t go into great detail, but my colleague was already frenzied when he decided to take on one more consulting job before the holidays. He was hired by an outside agency to assess the viability of a particular company. When his assessment was finished, he emailed the confidential results to the wrong executive – the one from the organization he was assessing, NOT the one who had hired him. Unfortunately, his evaluation of that particular executive was less than flattering. As you can imagine, so was his client’s opinion of his consulting abilities.

                        So if you can’t rely on multi-tasking, what should you do? Prioritize. Prioritizing is the opposite of multi-tasking. It means moving on to the next task when, and only when, you have completed the one “prior” to it. We offer a free “To Do Priority Template” to help keep you focused this fourth quarter on the “vital few” rather than the “trivial many.”

                        You really can do it all; you just can’t do it all at once! Prioritizing a day, a week or even a month ahead of time will help you trade in your stressful, fourth quarter juggling act for a successful year-end performance.

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                          Sometimes the Next Best Step is Standing Still

                          Posted on December 6, 2011 by Success Trek

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                            Remember that game “Mother May I?” When I played it as a little girl, I can tell you I certainly never imagined that one day I’d be hyper linking it to Wikipedia in a blog! But working with a client this past week made me think about what it felt like to play that as a girl, and I just had to write about it. That game made me crazy because someone else (the appointed “mother”) got to call all the shots – where I could step, how big or small my steps would be, and whether or not they should be forward or backward. I wasn’t in control of the steps I needed to take in order to win the game. Where’s the fun in that?!? In fact I’m sure that the day I was told to take three giant steps back was the day I began my journey as an entrepreneur. I may have only been seven, but I knew that some day soon I was going to quit and start a lemonade stand. 

                            Is your manager or supervisor telling you what to do…or what not to do?

                            Kids hate to be told what to do. And as adults, we like to think that we hate that too. But the truth is, most of us end up feeling overwhelmed and untethered when we’re not told what to do.

                            Put differently, we feel most at ease when we know what we need to do next. Whether that information comes from a boss, a training manual, a traffic light or a psychic, we feel more comfortable taking a step that someone else has pre-determined than we do standing still in our own uncertainty.

                            That’s where my client is right now. She’s had her foot poised to take a step for the past few months. She’s desperate to put it down and get moving again, but she doesn’t know which path she should take. So right now, she’s taking the next best step, which means she’s choosing not to take a step at all. Rather than looking to someone or something else to tell her where to go – just to start moving for the sake of moving – she’s accepted the fact that this is her journey, her trek, and that the privilege of not having to ask “Mother May I?” comes with the responsibility of having to finish the sentence that starts with “I may.” “I may…change careers.” “I may…go back to school.” “I may…start my own business.” 

                            Collect and sort your choices and make some decisions…

                            So before she takes that step, she is taking the time necessary to gather more information, sort through choices and do more self-reflecting. After all, as that old German proverb goes, “What’s the use of running if you’re on the wrong road?”

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